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Amanda Nicole

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First post in a long while [June 09, 2007 | 11:12 AM]
I have gone a full 24+ hours without any sleep. Welcome to my life. I have had coffee though. Coffee, coffee, coffee-- not to be mistaken for three coffees-- as a mater of fact I lost count, so three is possible, might be less-- or more.

Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes. We all fall down.

I just started at a fabulous new RP on GJ, getting my R-A-B on. Mhm. Christian Bale is one gorgeous piece of man.

What do you do when you have feelings for someone older than you and you know it couldn't ever work-- well actually, it probably could but it shouldn't because everyone else will think it's wrong, but you don't because they're your fucking feelings?

I don't know either, hence why I asked you.

I need to go see a live show. I like being by the speakers, not so fond of that hummy noise in your ears after you leave, when you pick up your phone to talk to a friend and everyone wonders why you're screaming into your cellular-- because you've gone temporarily deaf, that's why.

some call it crazy, some call it caring too much, some call it love...let's go with all of the above

[May 19, 2007 | 08:39 PM]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Dear Love

You have stolen my heart
and you don't even know it.
But try to get it back to me in one piece.


you are the best one of the best ones

Summer is coming fast [May 08, 2007 | 07:42 AM]
[ mood | amused ]

There are five things a girl needs on a hot summer day that essentially sum up what her entire summer should be.

1: Freedom, even if you work or have some sort of responsibility, you needs the freedom to take at least two hours to just be with the people you want to be with.
2: A sip of someone else's cold beer- nothing more nothing less. You don't want to be carrying your own, or have so many that you won't remember what you did the next day. But a single sip from someone interesting is all you need without being greedy.
3: Good music: Whether you're driving, shopping, at the beach, at a party, or just hanging out poolside, you know you want something to sing and dance to.
4: A good joke. One that will keep you and your friends laughing all day, just because you look at each other and think of the punchline.
5: and finally, if she's really lucky. One hot kiss- one so hott it'll make the 90-something degree weather seem subzero.

My life is... [May 08, 2007 | 07:07 AM]
[ mood | cynical ]

crazy beautiful.

And that's not crazy describing beautiful. It's beautiful describing the crazy. Everything in my life is pure brilliant, beautiful, mind-shattering, bang-your-head-against-the-wall chaos. Sometimes I can find humor or irony or even sense in it. Other times I honestly just want to sit in the corner, hug my knees to my chest and break down.

Let's be honest, it's my senior year in high school, and it's been pretty bitchin'. Bitchin' as in awesome, but also having to deal with a lot of bitchin' and whining from people I'm not really friends with and having to do my own because of similar circumstance. Some people call it being a teenager. I can't wait to turn twenty if that's the case.

I have some really good friends, this is the problem: They're either a year younger than me or 5+ years older than me. Usually the latter. I get along better with teachers in their twenty-somethings than I do with people in my own grade. Let's just get over it.

The problem is, what am I going to do when I go to college? What am I going to do this summer.

More importantly, I have a current guy dilemna that we just won't/can't get into online right now.

Holy shit. This is what I get for having coffee and beign at school at 6:15 AM.

[May 07, 2007 | 07:26 AM]
[ mood | bored ]

Okay, so it's 7:30. And I've been in school since 6:30 because I had to come in early to work on some stuff and that's the latest my dad can drop me off on the way to school.

Quick personal weekend update.

Saturday I worked from 4-8 with Nicole which was cool, then I stayed up all night and had to go back to work at 10:30 on shift with Barbara until 3 when we closed. Then I went straight to Jessica's house for Emma's third birthday party. She was such a little princess, there were like 15+ kids there under the age of 7, all screaming and/or running around like chickens with their heads cut off or some sort of decapitated poultry.

It was nice because I got to see Jessica's cousin Christopher who's back from Maine. He's been back for a while but this is the first time I've seen him. It's funny because I had a crush on him when I was like five. I don't even know how many years older than me he is-- but it's a lot (10-15). Needless to say I've grown out of that crush but it was good to see him because it reminded me of when crushes were a lot less complicated and no one ever cried about a boy unless they pushed them down on the playground (and even then it meant that he liked you). I miss things being less complicated.

I think remembering that makes being at school right now kind of hard. It's like, right now it's pretty quiet. Occasionally a teacher comes out of the elevator to go to one of the offices on the third floor. In about twenty minutes it's going to be more noise, probably some laughing, some jokes, maybe some hurt feelings. In less than a month it's going to be nothing but memories and yearbook signatures and maybe a few summer get togethers that will no doubt get us in trouble.

Even that's complicated. The idea of four years of love and angst turning into memories and maybe even life lessons. How does something like that happen? It's seems to happen so quickly but the process, the idea of time just washing so much away is difficult to wrap my mind around.

More importantly (and along the lines of challenging that theory). Yesterday I started talking to Katie again. I think we both know we've changed a lot, but it means a lot to me that we started talking again and we're working on getting back to being something like the best friends we were. It's excellent. Yesterday was her birthday. I figured that needed some recognition. She's a most excellent 18.

Finally before I go, I posted ten new icons on my community, bttrflygraphics. There are 10 of Adrian Pasdar as Nathan on Heroes, some of them with Milo Ventimiglia too (mostly from the episode "Six Months Ago"). There are also two new banners featuring Future!Claire from the episode "Five Years Gone". Weird. I just noticed I chose episodes with titles dealing with time--the very concept that escapes my understanding. I hope you check them out and enjoy them.

Until then. Much love.

ramblings of a teenage daydreamer [May 05, 2007 | 02:02 PM]
[ mood | bored ]

I just remembered, I had the excellent dream about Leonardo DiCaprio and his gorgeousness. I don't remember details but I just remember he was there so that's definitely cause for a "Dear Diary" mention.

It's a little past two o'clock, I have work at four. I'm sort of excited, I like working.

I'm also working on a new play for creative writing that I'm fairly excited about. It's supposed to be a one act play but I'm much more complicated than that. It's like two acts that I'm just not putting an intermission between or noting that it's more than one act. It's going to be fun when we all go outside to the grotto to act them all out. I'm madly in love with creative writing class.

Speaking of madly in love, I think this year might have set the record for most crushes in my grade in one year. I was looking through my yearbook and there were quite a few boys on the list of "hmm he's hott." More importantly in one of my classes there are like 8 guys, and I've thought that about six of them. Hah. I love it, it's so me. And while I'll miss these six gorgeous distractions during that class, I'm looking forward to summer.

Graduation is less than a month away. Can anyone believe it? Soon I'll be a graduate, and then I'll be in college and on my own for a while. It's so scary that it's thrilling.

So everyone should be picking out days with me this summer to meet up and do something (lunch, movies, shopping, dinner, club, anything) because I'm definitely interested in keeping in touch with people, meeting up with people I haven't seen, and just going out. So everyone should know the number-- give me a call.

Hopefully this summer I'm going out to California for a long weekend. I cannot wait. Summer 2007 is looking absolutely glorious.

Open for the public! [May 05, 2007 | 10:41 AM]
This week was just long and bad and neverending. I cried and/or had a terrible headache almost everyday of it. I finally decided to revive the livejournal. I redid the layout, found/made all new icons, it's a hayden panettiere theme because she's excellent.

I also brought back my graphics community bttrflygraphics. It's updated with 10 new Heroes icons all from "Five Years Gone" and one banner featuring Claire in that episode.

The journal is now public. So beware-- there will be ramblings.

Speaking of ramblings. I started working a couple weeks ago down at Crown Stationery right down the road from me. I like it there a lot, the people are pretty cool. I have 8 and a half hours this weekend, so if you're in the area come visit me, buy a lotto card or a candy bar or an actual greeting card. (Shameless plugging)

Get to know me with some surveys [March 09, 2007 | 07:54 PM]
[ mood | bouncy ]

All About Me

The number one thing that attracts me to a guy is: The way he treats the people that matter-- friends (both guy and girl), people he talks to everyday, and most importantly his family.

My idea of a romantic date is: coffee or dinner in a small intimate restaurant so we can talk and then some place fun like mini-golf, bowling, or dancing.

The one thing that totally turns me off about a guy is: if he talks down to someone like a waitor in a restaurant, some people think it's cool or okay to be rude to someone but it's just rude and annoying.

The number one quality I look for in a guy is: whether or not he can make me smile.

The best present anyone ever gave me was: my sister always finds me the nicest gifts for special occasions, like the Tiffany's necklace she gave me this February, but I think it's best when she sents me little cards to say thanks or happy birthday or just hello. A simple thoughtful message is cute-- I started saving all the ones she sends.

My most embarassing moment with a guy happened when: I was at a sweet sixteen dancing and the guy I thought was cute started dancing with me, he got really close and I didn't expect it so I froze up, he flat out told me I "had no rhythm."

I spend way too much time: online, all my friends live all over so it's the easiest way to keep in touch-- but not the most personal.

The thing I'd be best suited for is: anything that involves working with people, I'm really sociable and good at adapting with different groups. The thing I'd never try is: going against my beliefs and doing something I wouldn't normally do, like drugs.

The most played song on my iPod is: Edge Of Seventeen (Stevie Nicks) and Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)

The best advice I ever received was: from my friend Michele who told me when I get overwhelmed to just "take it one breath at a time". It's great advice and it was nice having her reach out to make sure I knew it was going to be okay.

Things I Don't Think I Could Live Without:

-I love cupcakes, I usually eat the cake part first just to save the top part with the icing for last.
-I love White Chocolate lattés, I'll get them from anywhere but usually with an extra espresso shot because I like the coffee taste to still be there.
-I'm also sort of into green tea lattés now, they're a little bit healthier and very tasty.
-I love using the computer, I can check my emails, create all my to-do lists, and make wishlists online for special occasions.

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